My Journey - Part 1

When I first started writing this, I had no idea that it would be such a long post. So to save you from having to read a novel in 1 day, I've broken my journey into 2 posts: pre-wedding & post-wedding. Check out Part 1 of my story here & be sure to come back tomorrow for the dramatic conclusion.
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My journey really began when I entered middle school & was noticeably larger than my classmates. Though I was sure to be tall, my weight was destined to be a 'thorn in my (extra-large) flesh' for most of my life. 

So I saw in a magazine how to make a skirt out of men's neckties. I conned my Grandmother into helping me make it & then I wore that thing like it was Versace. Now I look back on it and think: "Wow."














High school wasn't any kinder to me-rather, I wasn't any kinder to myself. I mean, really? Name one overweight female celebrity who looks better with boy-short hair. C'mon....still thinking??? Yeah, me too.

This is the token memento I have to remember some of the most awkward years of my life.







College years were just an excuse to keep packin' on the pounds. So I did. Late night meals, very few fruits & veggies, and the lacto-ovo vegetarian diet I started in high school meant that I turned to the world's most beloved side dish to fill that empty entree void: potatoes. Any way you could cook them, I would eat them-and lots of them. Of course now I know they just turned from starch to sugar & went straight to my growing belly but at the time, they filled me up since I was never consistently eating enough protein.

Ah, the college life. 5 years, 5 majors & 5 different schools. Indecisive much?

Liivng on my own after college gave me a great feeling of success but it was not so successful for my weight loss. Sure, there were plenty of Sundays when I would tell myself that I had to start my diet-of-the-week on Monday but there were just as many Tuesdays that followed when I would just as quickly fall off the bandwagon due to lack of preparation.

In 2007 I moved to Texas to help friends at a church they were pastoring although my mother claims I was "chasing a pair of pants"-which may be partially true. I had lost some weight at that time and though I gained some upon moving, after the breakup with said "pair of pants" I was able to lose that much and more thanks to the city's greenway walking trail. I walked that trail often & by the time I met my now husband "Z" in July of 2008, I was at my lowest adult weight.

One weekend shortly after we began dating.












Looking back, I realize I started to gain weight not long after we met. It wasn't a lot but it was enough to notice. I also have to thank birth control for some weight gain which turned me into a total whack job (apparently my body + hormones = a super bad combination). Of course, since I had never been on it before (yes, I was one of 'those' girls who waited for the ring before giving up the bing) I got to experience the crazy mood swings & puff up like the Michelin Man just in time for my wedding.







Ok, that's not me but that's what I felt like.

On our wedding day 08.15.2009

To be continued...

Well, I'm back at it. I've decided to hop back in the blogging game & hopefully keep up. Only time will tell I suppose but I'm excited to get back to writing. I'll not spend hours writing a post catching you up on what's been happening in my life but I will say that I am looking forward to the future.

It may be a bit gloomy but I want to take this moment to pause and thank God for a lady who went to heaven to be with Him 2 years ago today-my dear Grandmother.

I remember it vividly as it was a Monday morning and I was so exhausted and not looking forward to going to work that day. I was awoken from sleep around 4am by a phone call from my mother who was staying in the rehab hospital with her that night. Frantic, all she could manage to say was, "They think she's gone."

I remember my adrenaline kicking into high gear as Z & I rushed around and hopped in the car making our way to the hospital. As we pulled in I could see through the back glass of an ambulance with responders performing CPR on a body I would later find out was her. I found my mother with a hospital staff person who was trying to put her shoes on her as she was crying. We rushed out and both climbed into the back seat and Z drove, following the ambulance to the main hospital less than 3 miles away.

I remember pacing in the ER waiting room and knowing what the doctor was going to say before he said a word. Mom broke down momentarily & then tried to compose herself. We made our way into the room where she was waiting, pale and lifeless. I held her hand one last time. I stroked her face one last time. I kissed her cheek one last time.

And in those moments, I understood the meaning of legacy. I understood the sting of death. But I also understood the victory of death. She was with our Lord & Savior-just waiting for Him to fill up her coffee cup and sit down to chat awhile. She couldn't have been happier....

So today, I honor her by working to complete her one request of me-to lose weight. I started in March and have since lost 52 lbs. I have 103 more to go but I am more motivated than ever to meet the goal and make her proud. I will remember the things she taught me & the generosity she shared with me. Not only will her genes live on with me, so will her faithfulness to the Lord-and her love of sweets!

Tomorrow will be a new day with a new post. I promise they won't all be so sentimental (or somewhat morbid) but I wanted to take the chance to memorialize one of the most influential women in my life-this day only comes once a year and it is befitting for me to do so.

Looking forward to walking the journey together! Thanks for reading!

Blessings,

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Wherever You Go, There You Are

Yeah, this post has been a long time coming. Yeah, this post should have happened over a year ago. Yeah, I'm still ridiculously sporadic in my posting.

And that's me. Love me or leave me.

I'm not even going to offer the routine apology for my another extended absence. If you follow me, you ought to be used to my wanton desire to write but lack of actual writing. All the same, thanks for stopping in again.

Of course I'm posting because I'm back at it again. Back at working hard to lose weight. I've read a lot of success stories by truly inspiring people and I've organized my food/exercise time for (hopefully) optimum success for myself. Another major catalyst is that my life right now is very different than it ever has been before. Let me explain briefly, if mainly to encourage myself a little about why I am where I am...

In October of 2012, Z & I decided that we were going to move closer to my fam. Yes, we both had great jobs & I was on the path of a very successful career but we also both knew that there was more to life than work. At first, he had to convince me but thanks to some revealing events at work (read: a dictator boss) and personal reflection, I was able to accept that the time had come to move on. So on November 30, 2012, we quit our jobs, packed up our things, and made the long drive from TX to NC. (One of the weirdest feelings ever, knowing I was driving that stretch of I-20 but wouldn't be returning within the week-our typical trip.)

So we did what any excited 20-something year old couple seeking adventure would do, we moved in with my parents. Wow, what a difference 10 years makes (it's been that long since I've lived within 100 miles of my parents, much less 100 feet of them). Really though, they've been so gracious & giving toward us as we figure out where we are headed and I can tell you right now, the extra time spent with my nephew, H has more than paid off any personality clashes while living with the 'rents.

And that's where we are right now-'figuring out where we are headed'. I honestly have no clue what that means. We've interviewed for a youth pastor position at a church a couple of hours away but both of us had bad vibes on that so it's a no go. Z met the brother of a family friend at the church we attended last Sunday and we really enjoy it there. They don't have a youth pastor but also don't have the $ to pay one so who knows, we may end up volunteering some there.

What I do know for now is that this is the ONLY period of my life I can remember that I have had enough time (because, you know, working and making money is so overrated) to really work on myself. I want to make the most of this in every way possible-especially since the first 2 months literally flew by and now it's already February. Come join me for this (hopefully) wild, (at times very) sarcastic, but (inevitably) hilarious adventure of life-one step at a time.