I have decided to follow Jesus

I found myself singing that song with more passion than ever this Sunday morning before Christmas. The pastor had just finished his holiday sermon about the Life, Love, and Logos of the Word and I was just one in the sea of people in that big Baptist church. Without going into a lot of detail, there were some events that transpired at the church I joined and had been so faithful to during my time in Paris that made it pretty much impossible for me to continue attend. Fortunately, I guess you could say, I've been out of town every weekend for the past month so I hadn't dealt with the blow of attending another church in town. Until today. But I resigned myself to going to this particular church as I had gone to a women's conference there back in February and had been quite impressed.

In all honesty, I kind of expected to feel like a fish out of water. It had been this way last Christmas after the guy I was dating, considered marrying, and moved to Paris for broke up with me. He was the youth pastor at our church and I wondered if I'd ever be able to be a member there and be comfortable again. In fact, over the Christmas holidays, I started the process of preparing to move back east, to NC, where I knew I could settle back into the comfort of home. Christmas hadn't been the joyous, heartfelt holiday it had always been and I had suffered through every minute of it. We all know that story had a different ending but this year, I found myself in much of the same situation. I was mourning the loss of a dear friendship and the loss of the safe haven that church had been to me. Yet again in the throes of transition with preparations to move, start a new job and get married, I didn't see how this Christmas was any more joyful than the last and was throwing a great pity party for myself.

But there I was, seated in the flawlessly decorated sanctuary, listening to the pianist play this childhood favorite. And though the rest of the congregation remained silent, I couldn't help but allow the words to spill over my lips. For it was in that moment, the sweet, hushed voice of the Holy Spirit reminded me what my life is really supposed to be about. And as I closed my eyes and bowed my head and continued to sing softly, I began to realize again that I had made a choice to follow Jesus and there would be no turning back. I could allow my life to be overrun by circumstances and worldly things or I could die daily to myself and pick up my cross to follow Him.

So there, in that big, Baptist church, singing a non-traditional Christmas song, I relinquished control again to the only Man who sees me in all my imperfections but still continues to love me perfectly and I began to see the true meaning of Christmas.

Blessings,
B
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24

Christmastime is here, happiness and cheer...

Sad but true fact:

I finally officially got in the Christmas spirit last night.

Why has it taken so long for me to embrace the holiday season?

Well, between changing job assignments at work, planning a move (more on that later), planning a wedding, traveling every weekend and getting ready to start a new position w/Z at our new church (related to the move), I just have not had time or energy to shop or do anything Christmas related.

But last night, I finally had the chance (and felt up) to face the Christmas retail industry. And in all honesty, it wasn't that bad. I hit up Hasting's, Tuesday Morning, Office Max (they actually have some funny "Office" stuff), Dollar Tree (picked up a ton of great notepads for my co-workers) and Wal-Mart (where I bought everything else since that's the only place to really shop in this town).

I'm only buying for a few people here in TX, mostly Z & his fam, and then will pick up the gifts for my family (if my sweet mother hasn't already) after I fly to NC. I figure I'll save the $25 it would be to check a 2nd bag on my flight. I feel pretty good though because when I made my list last night, I have something for almost everyone on it. And I don't have too much to do this weekend to get ready. Some baking, wrapping, and minor prep and I'll be good to go.

However, I have 3 songs to prepare to sing while I'm in NC at my father's request. And as much as I love "Feliz Navidad", I don't think that's quite what he had in mind. So I'll be working on prepping those in the next few days-or on the plane.

I'm looking forward to being away from work for a bit. I switched positions within my office and my new desk is up front. This wouldn't be a problem except for the co-workers up front are a bit rowdy. I'm really trying to do my best to keep my cool but the past few days I've seethed quite a bit so my method of combat?

CARRY MY BIBLE. And that's just what I'm doing. I figure I will kill 'em with kindness or soak myself with Scripture. I'm thinking the latter will have the better end result. So I'll give it a whirl.

I'm hoping next year I'll be able to prepare more for the Christmas season. *Hopefully* Z & I will be settled in our apt/house and I won't be dealing with so much change. Maybe that will mean I can get my Christmas list to my family more than a week in advance. But in my defense, the 1st list from the others just got sent out Sunday.

My prayer this season is that we all will take the time to remember the Reason we even celebrate this blessed holy day Christmas. And that I don't get a huge photo of my brother's dogs as a gift.


We Are The Reason as recorded by Avalon

As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
All because of love, all because of love

I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

He is my reason to live 

Blessings,
B
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:11

At this exact moment...

I hate the evils of technology. E-mail, twitter, text, instant message, blogs... ALL OF IT! Why, oh why, am I so full of hate? Only because when using any of the above listed means of communication, the tone or inflection of anything written is questionable. And that small detail is causing some serious trouble in my life right now.

Don't worry. I'll get over my strong feelings soon but let me offer a small word of advice-CALL. If there is any question that what you are trying to say may be received differently than it is intended, just call whomever you're communicating with. You'll save yourself a LOT of trouble & apologizing. And you might even stay out of the doghouse.



Blessings,
B
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

And for the record...

Changing jobs/desks at my office = mass confusion. Especially since the office manager isn't here today and these girls need some hand-holding when it comes to such commotion.

But this is just the beginning. Today it's my desk, in the next few weeks it will be my house, and within the year my entire life will be completely different than it is today. I choose to look at it as a renovation, updating, if you will. My life at this point is good-things are moving along at a steady pace and I'm comfortable. But it's time to step out of my comfort zone-in a lot of areas. And so here it comes, the dreaded 'C' word...CHANGE. Dun, dun, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

This should cause fear, trepidation, and uneasiness. I should be stressed, doubtful and anxious. Yet for me, it is different. There is courage, not fear. There is contentment, not trepidation. There is peace, not uneasiness. I am relaxed, not stressed. I am confident, not doubtful. I am assured, not anxious.

And all because I know Who holds my future & whose Hand I hold.

Blessings,
B

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Another Blog

I know what you're thinking: Why do I need another blog when I'm barely interesting enough to justify coming back to this one?

Well, check *it* out & you'll see...

Blessings,
B