Well, I'm back at it. I've decided to hop back in the blogging game & hopefully keep up. Only time will tell I suppose but I'm excited to get back to writing. I'll not spend hours writing a post catching you up on what's been happening in my life but I will say that I am looking forward to the future.

It may be a bit gloomy but I want to take this moment to pause and thank God for a lady who went to heaven to be with Him 2 years ago today-my dear Grandmother.

I remember it vividly as it was a Monday morning and I was so exhausted and not looking forward to going to work that day. I was awoken from sleep around 4am by a phone call from my mother who was staying in the rehab hospital with her that night. Frantic, all she could manage to say was, "They think she's gone."

I remember my adrenaline kicking into high gear as Z & I rushed around and hopped in the car making our way to the hospital. As we pulled in I could see through the back glass of an ambulance with responders performing CPR on a body I would later find out was her. I found my mother with a hospital staff person who was trying to put her shoes on her as she was crying. We rushed out and both climbed into the back seat and Z drove, following the ambulance to the main hospital less than 3 miles away.

I remember pacing in the ER waiting room and knowing what the doctor was going to say before he said a word. Mom broke down momentarily & then tried to compose herself. We made our way into the room where she was waiting, pale and lifeless. I held her hand one last time. I stroked her face one last time. I kissed her cheek one last time.

And in those moments, I understood the meaning of legacy. I understood the sting of death. But I also understood the victory of death. She was with our Lord & Savior-just waiting for Him to fill up her coffee cup and sit down to chat awhile. She couldn't have been happier....

So today, I honor her by working to complete her one request of me-to lose weight. I started in March and have since lost 52 lbs. I have 103 more to go but I am more motivated than ever to meet the goal and make her proud. I will remember the things she taught me & the generosity she shared with me. Not only will her genes live on with me, so will her faithfulness to the Lord-and her love of sweets!

Tomorrow will be a new day with a new post. I promise they won't all be so sentimental (or somewhat morbid) but I wanted to take the chance to memorialize one of the most influential women in my life-this day only comes once a year and it is befitting for me to do so.

Looking forward to walking the journey together! Thanks for reading!

Blessings,

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Wherever You Go, There You Are

Yeah, this post has been a long time coming. Yeah, this post should have happened over a year ago. Yeah, I'm still ridiculously sporadic in my posting.

And that's me. Love me or leave me.

I'm not even going to offer the routine apology for my another extended absence. If you follow me, you ought to be used to my wanton desire to write but lack of actual writing. All the same, thanks for stopping in again.

Of course I'm posting because I'm back at it again. Back at working hard to lose weight. I've read a lot of success stories by truly inspiring people and I've organized my food/exercise time for (hopefully) optimum success for myself. Another major catalyst is that my life right now is very different than it ever has been before. Let me explain briefly, if mainly to encourage myself a little about why I am where I am...

In October of 2012, Z & I decided that we were going to move closer to my fam. Yes, we both had great jobs & I was on the path of a very successful career but we also both knew that there was more to life than work. At first, he had to convince me but thanks to some revealing events at work (read: a dictator boss) and personal reflection, I was able to accept that the time had come to move on. So on November 30, 2012, we quit our jobs, packed up our things, and made the long drive from TX to NC. (One of the weirdest feelings ever, knowing I was driving that stretch of I-20 but wouldn't be returning within the week-our typical trip.)

So we did what any excited 20-something year old couple seeking adventure would do, we moved in with my parents. Wow, what a difference 10 years makes (it's been that long since I've lived within 100 miles of my parents, much less 100 feet of them). Really though, they've been so gracious & giving toward us as we figure out where we are headed and I can tell you right now, the extra time spent with my nephew, H has more than paid off any personality clashes while living with the 'rents.

And that's where we are right now-'figuring out where we are headed'. I honestly have no clue what that means. We've interviewed for a youth pastor position at a church a couple of hours away but both of us had bad vibes on that so it's a no go. Z met the brother of a family friend at the church we attended last Sunday and we really enjoy it there. They don't have a youth pastor but also don't have the $ to pay one so who knows, we may end up volunteering some there.

What I do know for now is that this is the ONLY period of my life I can remember that I have had enough time (because, you know, working and making money is so overrated) to really work on myself. I want to make the most of this in every way possible-especially since the first 2 months literally flew by and now it's already February. Come join me for this (hopefully) wild, (at times very) sarcastic, but (inevitably) hilarious adventure of life-one step at a time.

And The Journey Continues...

Hi friends Mom! It's day 1 of my 4 day weekend and gosh can I say I love working a summer schedule! 5 hours a day 4 days a week is such a reward from the 50-60 hour weeks I put in during the school year. Yesterday I even got kicked out of my office an hour early because our carpets were going to be cleaned. School schedules rock! (Remind me of that come September!)

This week has been a decent week for food intake & exercise. I missed 1 day this week of the gym and surprisingly, I was really upset about it. I felt so ashamed of not going and was frustrated with myself. I also overate a couple of days and am having trouble quelling my sweet tooth but I've only been over calories 1 day with the rest remaining within my limit or limit + exercise range. I can tell I feel so much better when I exercise and have kicked butt in the gym this week. Even though I still need to go to bed earlier, I have more energy.

One thing I am learning through this process is that every day brings a fresh start, a clean slate. If I happen to not do so great one day, it doesn't mean I'm a complete failure or that I am forever doomed. Even if I feel that way. It just means that I have to get back on track and make a more concentrated effort the next day. I think that's why I haven't succeeded in the past-because I would have 1 bad day of food choices or not working out and I would throw in the proverbial towel. But MFP really helps with that as well in that every morning I start out with 1500 calories. What I do with those is up to me, especially if I use them wisely and add to them through exercise or if I waste them on a temporary fix. I'm learning that beating myself up obviously hasn't worked so now it's time to be real and focus on one step, one choice at a time.

With our trip to NC 2 weeks away (YAY!), I'm doing some prep work in researching some exercises I can do since we won't be in a gym for at least 10 days. The good thing is that my parents have a treadmill and lucky for me, walking/jogging are things I can do outside if necessary (even in summer heat). I'm also checking out strength training and other exercises that will keep me on track while we are gone. We'll be at family reunions (w/huge meals) for 2 days and I'm already prepping for that-a spoonful of the things I want, not a plateful-and then we head to the beach for a few days. That part I can't wait for! We'll be going to the same beach where Z & I honeymooned and I'm looking forward to having some rest and spending some QT with my parents as well. Visits with friends as well as a surprise for Z will cap off the week and I can't wait. I only wish we had more time overall but 10 days is pretty darn good for a vacay. Can you tell I'm excited???

Guess I've gone on enough for now and Z & I have to leave soon for dinner/swimming with friends so...Sayonara for now!