Will You Be My Valentine?

Yes, it's official. Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. It's cheesy but I love LOVE and being able to do things for people just because I love them-not expecting anything in return or wanting to be recognized. People don't expect treats for Valentine's day unless they are in a committed relationship. Yet that's just what I did last year on this day. I had broken up with the reason I moved to Texas in December and was quite depressed with the expectations I had for the "Day of Love". But instead of grieving what was or could have been or would be, I decided to make treats for those around me who may not always be appreciated the way they should be. I ended up taking them to the ladies at my bank, my co-workers, and my mail delivery person. That night, I cooked myself a nice dinner and stayed in to shamelessly watch chick flicks and celebrate love...with myself.

See, the way I express my love is by giving gifts-whether they're homemade, store bought or just randomly created. I LOVE to give people things or do things for them. I love to see the look in their eyes or hear the excitement in their voice as they receive or realize I've done something for them. And it's not about the recognition really (ok, maybe a little) but for me, to brighten their day even in the smallest way is the most rewarding gift I could ever receive.

Recently, my mom and I were conversing about our lives and making a difference for people. Through all of my transition lately, I've been reflecting over my life and wondering if I've made a difference for anybody at all in my 25 years on this planet. I know I've taught classes and helped people but I wonder if my contributions have made that big of an impact on the world. In that conversation my mom reminded me of the following story by Loren Eiseley:

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

That conversation with my mom, who had been doing the same kind of introspection that I was in desperate need of, changed my view of my life. I now realize that if I make a difference for just 1 person (each day, each week, each month) that my life has purpose. I know God can use my mess to make a message and I pray He will take the mess that I make of my life sometimes a lot of the time and turn it into something beneficial for someone. May my life be always and only for His glory, pointing ever upward as I take each step in faith.

So now, each morning as I awake and get ready for my day, I ask myself:

Who's my starfish for today???

Blessings,
B
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

O How I Love Thee, Little White Box!

It is amazing how this little white box evokes such an enthusiastic response from me. I've been itching to write for the past couple days but haven't had anything of substance to write about. I still don't know that I do but I'm attempting a post anyway.

Ok, I DO have something to mention-someone, rather.

Z & I celebrated <3 day Saturday since the actual day is pretty packed with things to do. His dad and brother had gone down Saturday to spend some time with him and left midday Saturday so I headed down that morning (a bit later than expected) and arrived around 12:30. He told me that as long as I was there by 1 it would be ok. I had no idea what he had up his sleeve but I was honestly too stressed out to care. Between planning a wedding long distance, hunting for jobs, trying to get moved, be involved in a new church & ministry, and trying to keep up relationships, my mind was too scattered to be concerned about his plans. I trust him so I knew whatever it was, it would be great. We left from his place as soon as I arrived and before I knew it we were pulling into...

Jessica's Massage Spa

where he had purchased a 1 hour full body massage. Normally, I would have completely FREAKED OUT but since my mind was so busy, I had absolutely no time to even blink an eye at the thought of another person touching my tub o' lard squishy body.

Friends, I have NEVER felt more relaxed or at peace than I did when she finished that massage. I didn't care that she (Jessica-the owner) had talked the whole time I was being rubbed down. I didn't care that I had a million things on my to do list. I didn't care that my wedding was quickly approaching and I had accomplished nothing for it in the past few weeks. That massage definitely goes down in the books as one of the BEST gifts I've ever received. And if you haven't indulged in such luxury, I encourage you to do so. Stat. You owe it to yourself. Since I was pretty out of it for the rest of the day, we took it easy and stayed low key the rest of the day. It definitely made me super tired (so if you get one, get it as late in the day as possible) but we made it to a Mexican dinner and a quick Wal-Mart run before finishing the night off with dessert and a movie.

So for that, my fiance goes down in history as the most thoughtful man in history. And when I told him that he shouldn't have spent the money, his reply was, "Well, I wanted to spoil you." Yeah, basically the sweetest man on planet earth. And this weekend, I'm making him he's offered to help me with wedding planning stuff. Sometimes I'd swear he's too good to be true. But back off ladies, HE'S ALL MINE!

It's funny how I can't wait to write but then when I actually sit down with that intention, words fail me (which is shocking in and of itself). So I'll be back soon, hopefully with more entertainment!

Blessings,
B
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

'Tis The Season

Well, a day week late and a (couple hundred) dollars short-thanks Mom & Dad, I'm back in TX. When I last wrote, I was preparing for a long trip home to NC to celebrate Thanksgiving with my fam.Over the past 10 days I have done the following:

*Traveled over 2,000 miles
*Been on the road approx. 40 hours
*Driven or ridden through 4 states 2x each
*Told my parents that Z & I are engaged. Yes, you read that right-more details later.
*Eaten 4,962,185 calories. That could be a slight exaggeration.
*Lost 20 hours of sleep. That could also be a slight exaggeration.
*Written 0 blogs. Hence this one.
*Redecorated my blog, twitter & facebook sites for Christmas
*Decided to not decorate my house for Christmas at all. The time I'm going to be at home does not justify the hassle.
*Booked all my weekends for December
*Bought 0 Christmas gifts. That's right, nothing, nada, zilch. Can we say PANIC?!?!?!
*Exercised 0 hours. Fatty McRoll girl is back. Yuck.
*Contracted & successfully gotten over a head cold WITHOUT going to the doctor. And only once did I comment that I wanted to cut my head off to make everything better. The number of times I complained about not being able to breathe? I'm not telling.
*Laughed with my brothers 842,916 times. Withk it like thith. Mmmkay little boys? Do you want any candy???
*Officially received my TX driver's license (that saga to follow as well)
*Gone shopping 1 time. That's a record, folks.
*Forgotten about technology 492 times and even went 2 whole days without indulging into the e-world.
*Done a LOT of thinking and praying about my life and future
*Learned a new job at work
*Ended a close friendship. Ouch. That is a definite understatement.
*Thought a LOT about how to give creative Christmas gifts this year.
*Spent 11 consecutive days with Z. And am still madly in love with him. :)
*Decided that I am far too blessed for what I deserve. Thanks God-You're amazing!

And with that, this post is over. Finito. Finished. Check back later for more details on several items in the above list.

Blessings,
B
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. Psalm 107:31

That Good Old Baylor Line

"We'll march forever down the years,
As long as stars shall shine.
We'll fling our green and gold afar
To light the ways of time,
And guide us as we onward go;
That good old Baylor line!"

This is what I hear every time my mother answers her cell phone when I call her. 'Why' you ask? Because a couple of weeks ago, I helped her download downloaded her alma mater from Baylor University (in Wacko, Texas-as she says) as a ringtone to her phone. Oh how my mama loves her school. Can I tell you how many times she did their whole 'Sic 'em Bears' football bear claw during my childhood? So now, whenever she receives a call-from me anyway, she sings along with the ringtone and continues to sing even after she answers the call. It really is quite amusing. The extent of her joy at hearing that song every day really cannot be expressed in my feeble words on this blog. In fact, the day she got it, she called me and left the voicemail:

Hey, it's your mother. Just checking on you. Call me back when you get this-I want to hear my ringtone. I left my phone on all day just so I could hear it and nobody's called me all day long. So call me back. (Said in her best 'woe is me' voice.)

My little mama's a funny woman. We get at least one good chuckle during every chat and usually have pretty good conversations. She is so excited about the holidays I don't think she can contain herself. Minus having to work this week and panicking at having 8 of us in their 3 bedroom house, she LOVES this time of year. Take this conversation we had Saturday for example:

Me: What are you doing?
Mom: I'm at the Wal-Mart buying Thanksgiving decorations.
Me: You never decorate for Thanksgiving! What's up with that?
Mom: I've never had so many people coming for Thanksgiving!

And this conversation earlier in the day is a prime example of her secretly trying to contain her glee while going into "freak out" mode:

Me: When is JP (my little bro) coming?
Mom: He and Sydnee (his gf) are coming in either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning and leaving Thursday night. And your father and I are going to a hotel.
Me: What!?!?! Why?
Mom: Well, there's you & Zeb, Jonathan & Sydnee, Brian & Ali, me & your father. Where are we all going to sleep???

She's so funny sometimes. I love it! I can't wait to see that little woman and give her a big hug. And Dad too. He's looking for good leaf rakers this week. I told him I was bringing a good helper-Z. :) But truth be told, I'll find any excuse to hang out with the fam and just be around them. I'm so looking forward to it myself! I don't know who is more excited, me or my mama.

FYI: I LOVE PUMPKINS!

What am I not looking forward to? The 15 hour car ride. Granted, being with Z is always fun and he keeps me laughing but 15 hours in any car does not bode pleasant thoughts for me. It will be nice since we don't usually get to spend so much time together. And we have snacks and drinks and books and quizzes and music and blankets and magazines packed to keep us occupied so hopefully we'll be ok. Thank goodness he's so laid back and peaceful. He really is my balance. So even though it's a forever long drive, I am sure we'll have a good time together.

The thing I'm anticipating most about this holiday? No, it's not the actual Thanksgiving dinner food (although it probably should be as my mama is the best cook known to humankind). It's the time during and just after we eat where we all sit and talk and LAUGH. Those are my favorite memories of my family-our laughter. We are blessed enough that both of my brothers possess this insane ability to make anything funny. Whether it's front or cover, I'm not sure. But it is SO FUN! We typically laugh until Mom has to go 'check on the baby' (as they used to say) and my sides and cheeks hurt from laughing so much. It's by far the best part of ANY time that my whole family gets together. And this year will be fun with all 8 of us being there.

Can you tell I'm excited???

I have some other posts started that will have to wait. Z & I are leaving as soon as I get off work today and will be on the road through the night and into the morrow. (Sheesh, who ever thought I would use the word 'morrow' in my writing???) Say a prayer for us if you don't mind. And I'll be back with lots of great Turkey Day updates. My prayers are that each of us has a blessed holiday filled with thankfulness and gratitude to our great God who is the Giver of all that is good.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

Blessings,
B
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17